Counting Up My Blessings.

I have been quite the bummer lately, haven’t I? Lots of complaints and moaning and groaning. Guess it rubbed off on Michelle because today in the car she started to complain about how this summer hasn’t been as much fun as last summer because mommy has cancer. So to cheer her up I started listing all the fun things we would do next summer when mommy was all better.

Poor kid, her “fun” has been my “fun”. I have introduced to her all the things I like to do and by default they are now the things she likes to do. Most of them involve being outdoors and getting wet. Rivers. Lakes. Water parks etc. The list for next summer is endless. I don’t think there will be enough time to do all the things we thought of. But making the list cheered her up, and by default it cheered me up too.

So then I started to mentally list all the things I have to be grateful for right now. Another endless list really. But here are a few that stand out:

My family. I don’t know what I would do if Alan wasn’t here being strong while I was weak. Not once has he complained when I have been too tired, too sick or just too damn lazy to do something. He encourages me to go to bed early, to nap, to leave it “up to” him to get whatever it is done. My parents. How lucky I am that they are so involved, that they live so close, that they are so helpful at so many times. I don’t think Alan or I could survive this time period without them.

My friends. The cards, emails and texts are so helpful. So encouraging. So present. I just know my friends are there, willing to help at any moment, whether it be for a ride somewhere, to watch Michelle or pick something up from the grocery store. You guys are just there, right where I need you to be.

The meals. This has been such a wonderful gift. Special love to Laura who put this together for my family thru www.takethemameal.com. This came in so handy after my surgery, and again now for the week following chemo. Even if I can’t eat or taste, my family is fed and we don’t have to worry about buying the food or preparing it. This has been a life-saver.

The wigs. Thanks to www.friendsarebyyourside.com and my friends at www.jmorgansalon.com I now have two wigs that I can wear when the moods strikes me. Sometimes, I just don’t want to “look” like a cancer patient and the wigs come in handy on those days. I’m thinking that as we head into cooler weather they will also keep me warm!

The “moms”. A group of neighborhood women who have banded together to make sure that anytime I need someone to watch Michelle, someone is available to do so. Makes me feel better knowing I am not always relying on the same two people to watch her and gives Michelle some play-date variety.

The cleaning. By diligently checking www.cleaningforareason.org I have finally found myself a spot on their list. Now, starting Aug. 20 and every 4 weeks after that for a total of 4 times, I will have 3 hours of free house cleaning done by a local maid service that generously offers their time and expertise to someone undergoing cancer treatments. What a relief this is. Because I don’t want to spend too much of my “feeling good” time cleaning.

Living. Again, I must say, the best side effect of chemo is life.

Sometimes…I forget that.