Getting Over Myself

I can’t stop thinking about that email I got. The one that told me to get over myself, get a grip and do as told. It’s hard to do this. I know I have been feeling down lately, and I do have good reason for it. I don’t share all my thoughts in this blog, there are some things I keep to myself, but trust me when I say what I am going thru is harder than I thought it would be. It’s harder then you can even imagine.

That said, I do need to get over myself. I am going to try to regain the warrior spirit that I once had. Baby steps.

I started today by going out in public wearing a bball hat that says “Fight Like A Girl”. That doesn’t sound like much but for me it was huge. I don’t go out wearing bball hats. I wear scarves. Or (rarely) a wig. What I said before is true; I avoid eye contact with strangers. I do. I don’t want to see their expression when they look at me. I walk with my head down. So today, instead of just walking around “looking” like a cancer patient with the scarf on my head, I advertised it. My hat said “here I am, battling cancer!” And I looked everyone in the eye. I smiled at them even.

Like I said…baby steps. That was my step for the day.

And it wasn’t easy.

But I did it.

And it lifted my spirits a little. Made me feel a bit more human.

But not as human as the 8oz of beer I just treated myself to!