The Core Group

Like most women I have a core group of friends. Four women who came into my life over the years and each enrich my world in their own unique way. These women are all quite different from each other and they don’t all know each other. But they each serve a purpose in my life that is unique to them. Each one of them does something for me that no one else could. I love these women, and you would too if you knew them. I want to share them with you, in the order that they came into my life.

Paulette. She didn’t like me when she first met me. She thinks she had a valid reason for that but I think she is off her rocker. Well, ok, maybe her reason was valid. Maybe. But over the course of a year a friendship blossomed and she is too wonderful for words. She just gets me. Besides my family, she was the first person I called with this news. And she was the first non family member to see me. She is tough. Real tough. Like, Tough Mudder tough. And she has my back. At all times. Which is good, because if she is behind me then she can’t get lost. She is my sister from another mother. Michelle calls her “Auntie Paulette.” You could all benefit from a little Paulette in your lives.

Pam. We moved into the same neighborhood at the same time. I saw her out walking with a little girl in a stroller about Michelle’s age the second summer we were here. Pam is a lot quieter than I, more reserved. I kind of forced myself on her so that her daughter and my daughter could play. The girls developed a friendship and so did Pam and I. We are each others go to person. Need an egg? Call each other. Need a last minute babysitter? Call each other. Breakfast once a week? That’s us. The friendship is easy and I think she enjoys my sarcasm as much as I enjoy hers. I can sit for hours with Pam in complete silence and yet hear so much. If she ever moved I wouldn’t be able to stop the tears. I am her emergency contact person on all her kids forms. How cool is that? She doesn’t even ask anymore, I just know my name is there.

Stacey. I love the way this woman came into my life. My daughter and her daughter developed a friendship during their preschool years. A few play dates later Stacey and I became friends too. Stacey always smiles, even when she doesn’t want too. She’s the friend who always knows what’s what. She speaks her mind and tells it like it is. The girls’ monthly sleepovers are a play date for the whole family as we all get along so well. I trust her explicitly with the care of my child and she trusts me with the care of hers. I look at her daughter as an extension of Michelle. They, like their mothers, just get each other. And the friendship is easy, unforced, uncomplicated. I can always count on her for a laugh.

Val. Val and I met because we have a fun hobby in common. She is my “lets go play in the woods” friend. If I need to hike, I call her. A walk along the canal? Val is my girl. Nowhere to go on Thanksgiving? Lets join Val and her huge family at her table. If I need someone to play the devils advocate, Val is the person I turn too. She can always see the other side, see things I can’t see. I think it’s her social worker background that makes her so grounded, so fair. Sometimes it’s frustrating to me when I am upset over something and she shows me the other side. She is often right. But that is what I love about her. She isn’t afraid to show me when I am wrong.

And during this time in my life they are right where I need them. They are there. And I know it. And they make me strong. They don’t smother me with tears, they don’t call daily, they don’t interrupt me when I want to talk and they understand when I don’t. If they ask how I am doing and I say “fine” they don’t question me further. Because they get me. And I get them. And sometimes, with friends like this you just don’t need to talk. They treat me like I am me. And they still share with me the frustrations and problems in their own lives.

I could blabber on and on with countless stories of these women. The good, the bad and the ugly. But I won’t. It’s enough for me to just share this little piece of non cancer related info with you. I hope you all have a Paulette, a Pam, a Stacey and a Val in your life. Because you can’t have mine.

I am so blessed to have these women in my life. And so many other women too. You give me strength and courage and laughs. And I thank you.