Hugs From Jill

On Wed. when I got the call from the therapist that Michelle couldn’t join that support group, I was, as you know, extremely upset. I was also at work. So on my way home I called my friend Pam to vent and to cry (that is really something I need to stop doing, crying while driving) and she suggested that Michelle come to her house after school. Good idea, as I was noticeably distraught. And once the tears start, for any reason, it takes me a long time to get them to stop. So I get Michelle off the bus and we head over to Pams. Pam hands me a beer and I sit down in her comfy chair and start to regain my composure while taking comfort in the quiet support of a good friend. That’s something all friends of cancer patients should know how to do, offer comfort by being quiet. Seriously. Shut up about it sometimes. Anway, while there my cell phone rings and it’s my good friend Jill, who just happens to be sitting in my driveway.

Jill is a great woman. She is like another mom, and her husband is like another dad. They came into our lives as Alan and I became more adventurous in our outdoor activities. Any time a day is planned with Jill I know there will be snacks involved. Good, homemade, yummy, chocolate-y snacks. No matter where we go, if Jill is there, snacks will be there. Sometimes, if Jill is not there, but her husband is, we still get snacks. No, not sometimes. All times. One of the first times we got together after meeting I had brought Michelle along. And Jill brought some crafts for Michelle to do if she got bored. I didn’t bring crafts for Michelle to do. Jill did. That’s the kind of woman she is.

So Jill and I spent about 15 minutes standing in my driveway talking. And I was so touched by her quick stop over, and what she is doing for me that I texted her and asked if I could use her name in this blog, so that I could share the ray of sunshine she brought into my life with anyone who cares to read it. She responded with a “yes” and told me she hopes my blogging is as therapeutic for me as it has been for her and her family. I simply texted back and “xox” but what I should have said is “hell yes this is therapeutic for me. I don’t care if anyone ever reads it or not! Getting all my thoughts down as I go thru this journey is the best choice I could make. It helps me. A lot.” You really have no idea how much…

But I digress. This is about Jill and our 15 minutes together in my driveway. She hugged me. I cried. She is just one of those people you don’t have to be strong for. You don’t have to hide behind a smile. When you are with Jill, you can be you. And at that time my “me” was a mess. Jill had stopped by to put a head hugger on my head to make sure it was the right size. www.headhuggers.org. She had sent me that link and asked me to choose my favorite head huggers, and what colors I wanted them. Because between Jill and one of her daughters they can crochet, knit and sew any head hugger I would want. When she sent me the link I took a quick look at it and then closed it. Couldn’t do it right then. Choose head huggers? To cover up my bald head? Good grief. Who wants to do that? But “want” doesn’t really come in to play here. Like it or not, “need” is the word I should use. Because I will need a few head huggers for days when I just don’t feel like wearing a wig, or if it itches, or if my head just hurts. So eventually I did look and now her needles are clacking away to make sure my head is properly hugged. My head. Hugged. With love. From Jill.

And she gave me a key chain, a pink boxing glove. And a rubber glow in the dark breast cancer awareness bracelet for Michelle. And a bumper sticker that says “fight like a girl” in pink letters that will have to go on Alan’s car because it’s one of those that stick on the inside of the window and my windows are tinted. And another bumper sticker, that is already on my car. This one reads “HEY CANCER! YOU PICKED THE WRONG BITCH”. I am going to get those words onto a T-Shirt soon. As well as a T-Shirt that says “Surviving”. And then I will gladly explain to Michelle what the word “bitch” can mean. It’s not always derogatory. Besides, last summer I accidentally taught her the word “shit”, so “bitch” isn’t so bad.

Everyone should have a Jill in their life. I am lucky to have her in my corner. She is an asset to me. My family. Michelle. She is kind, loving, smart and funny. She shares willingly and will gladly help me carry this load. She is like a mom. And like the mom I was blessed with, I aspire to grow up to be like her. We could all benefit from a little bit of Jill in our lives.

Plus, she offered to pull me in my inner tube behind her kayak this summer if I am not up to paddling. Or…did she offer to hook my tube up to Alan’s kayak?